I really do, LJ.
Things have just been…challenging.
So I have been silent.
Once the fabulousness of spin camp was done with, and all the great folks went on their merry way, the loneliness of this house and this town really closed in around me. I felt totally inspired, yet strangely paralyzed. I think the impending 30th birthday is also contributing to the heaviness in my heart right now. I have been brutal with the self-evaluation…what did I think I would be doing and where did I think I would be? Certainly not where I am, but at this point, I just feel muddled and confused and have no clear idea of my goals and desires. Most of the time, I just want to sleep.
Which is bad.
I do know that I feel at peace when I am spinning, that I can relax and slip into meditation and start to breathe a little. I just don’t know how realistic it is to continue trying to eek an income out of this quiet place. Maybe it’s not good for my soul. Then again, maybe I just need to make more of an effort to put myself out there. I get amazing, encouraging feedback for my work, and that, surely, is good for my soul…I guess I just need to find a balance.
So, for the sake of cheering, here are some pictures of my favorites from camp:
Envy, who is now a scarf.
Well, I am off to pick strawberries with the lad. It is peak of the season this week, so am also picking up some pectin and new jar lids. Last year we made a case and a half of blueberry jam, and we just now finished off the last jar. It will be nice to have a different kind of berry jam in my life this year. Especially for it’s usefulness in filling chocolate cupcakes. mmmmmm….