A little splash through a creek…
…can wash it all away. For a few precious moments on a weekend, we feel like a whole family again and we imagine our dreams are not so far away. Monday comes again and it is like a fracturing. We see so little of each other that planning the next step can only occur in the tiniest captured blips of time…a quick two-minute phone conversation during the day, a scrawled note to be read over his 5am breakfast…or if we’re lucky, like tonight, we manage a walk around the block after the Boy’s bedtime. Outside is often the only place we can be alone, breathe deeply and express ourselves freely.
Since our west coast plans collapsed and left us scrambling, we have been working only towards the vague goal of ‘getting on our feet again.’ Whereas the crystal-clear dream we had been following was totally inspirational, this vaguery is utterly numbing. We get through the week and spend the weekend trying to recover enough to have a productive sharing of ideas, a sparking of hope to make it feel worth it to press on. Perhaps I sound overly dramatic, but the last year and half has been a bumpy, bruising ride and I have thought often of just giving up entirely. Why not just find a place to live in the city and try to forget about farming, forget about dark skies in the night, forget about real quiet and the sweet smell of goats and hay, the freshness of the earth waking up after the deep sleep of winter. Why not just continue to wish every week away so I can get to the weekend while my son grows up and his recollections of our rural life get fuzzy and fade. Well, I can’t. I just really can’t let it all go. Maybe things didn’t work out the way we thought they would when we got to Vermont the first time, but the dream has not changed. C and I agree on this point. We have now a common goal in mind, a project to pursue…for now I will leave it at that, but it is comforting to know we are once again on the same page instead of each blindly flailing about.
I’m a little envious of Pete…always serene and just goin’ along for the ride:
Shifting gears, my mom brought by a violin cookie cutter for the Boy and so we had to make another batch of cream biscuits.
Ridiculous. She’s pretty darn good at finding the perfect little giftie.
And because this is a three-speed post, I will address one more topic. What the hell happened to the fiber on my blog? Where are all the yarn pictures?
I’ve been spinning. I have. It’s just all been for shows and what-not with deadlines and so no time for photographing. I have seen pics around of some goodies that I neglected to photograph before sending to MDSW, which is awesome. My little shop is a bit sad at the moment, but I will be sure to inundate you all with updates after Maker Faire. New products and improved versions of the old. And and and, a whole slew of spinning workshops coming to Urban Fauna Studio starting in June.
C is taking three whole days off in two weeks…I will be a felting machine.