So, I signed up for a thing. I’ve been pretty hard on myself lately, and sometimes I even feel like I deserve it, but that’s, you know, probably not true.
Why not kick my own ass in a beneficial way?
This here is where I hold myself accountable. I started the challenge by posting the first assignment on my FB business page. Then, I promptly felt overwhelmed and dropped the whole thing entirely. I had signed up, though, and was still getting emails every day, prompting me with the new assignments that were now piling up like the homework from my high school trigonometry class.
Let me cut to the chase: I caught up.
I realized that this challenge, however cheesy it might seem to some, has the power to refocus and redirect me in ways that I desperately need right now.
Day One was this:
My response was this: Proof positive that creating a joyful, abundantly fulfilling life is well within anyone’s grasp.
And it’s true. I want to be able to look back on my life and know that the gift I shared was to show anyone who felt self-doubt and despair rising within them that they can just 180 on that noise and head the other direction. I’m still working on that part, but it says here I’ve got a year to prove it’s possible. I’m motivated.
-In other words, why do you wake up in the morning? Why does this work matter to you?
I need to make. I need to dig and to harvest, to chop and to carry, to test and record, to share and to teach, to capture it all in images and writing and to be heartfully immersed in it all. I want to serve as a resource and a guide. I want to share the beauty of simple living in a complicated world. Enjoying vibrant health and a fulfilling life is attainable even if we have to mix it in with all the Busy-ness of modern life and I aspire to be a shining example of that; a shining example of making a living by living fully. Is that possible? Let me find out.
-What’s the one thing you’re most afraid of when it comes to giving your gifts to the world?
It’s this one, very specific and very common thing: fear that I will put my all into making a living doing the things I love, and simply…fail. And fail hard. Because of that fear, I have, historically, only pursued my interests in half-assed fashion, always trying to find the “real job” that will allow me to do the things I love “on the side.” Guess what? Doesn’t really work. Huh.
-What’s something you’re afraid of doing, or have been putting off that you know will take you to the next level?
I’m coming to the realization that it’s entirely possible I’m most afraid of…succeeding. What will happen if I really put my heart into taking my writing and workshop ideas, my fiber and my artwork, etc. to the next level. I have procrastinated for two months the finishing of a photography course I’m writing because I don’t think I’m expert enough to be anyone’s instructor. This idea of mine, the one where I’m not expert enough, has been squashed by many students who have been really pleased with my in-person workshops (and vocal about it!), but there is something about getting it in writing, something about making it tangible…so, here’s the nut: I’m distracted, most of all, by my lack of self-confidence. There, I said it. I don’t believe in myself and it’s really throwing my game, here, peeps.
-To identify your Superness, answer these two questions:
- What is your unique superpower?
IE: grace, clairvoyance, deep wisdom, a never ending wealth of ideas. If you have trouble with this, think about peak moments where you’ve surprised yourself by doing incredible things (ask a friend or loved one if you struggle with noticing these things about yourself).
- Who is your super hero alter-ego?
Now that you’ve defined your superpower, go ahead and sketch out a “profile” or “player card” describing your character and its unique personality.
This ties in with the procrastination theme, but I will suggest that my superpower is that I work really well under pressure, whether the pressure is self-inflicted or from an outside source. You can count on me to pull it together when I’m under the gun, and to give you something really damn good, whatever the medium.
Alter-ego: socially awkward homebody dubbed The Machine by those who have witnessed her entering into the spinning zone. When she’s in front of a room of eager students, you would not guess at the inner turmoil. Cool as a cucumber, her mother would say. Wears Muck Boots, even in the “big city.”
-What’s one thing you could ask for that would change the face of your business?
This one is personal, involving emails going to a few very specific people. I know this thing is all about sharing, but I’m going to let this be what I need it to be.
And that brings us through today, Day 7, which I’m still mulling over. Get on my FB page if you are interested in daily updates. I’ll recap here again next week.
There will be shop updates happening over the next few days, so stay tuned.