Where, oh where…

…do we go from here?

We find ourselves, once again, a family with a Mission but without a Place to manifest it.

We find ourselves, once again, relying on the kindness of our parents, their open hearts and home.

We find ourselves, once again, in the Bay Area for an As-Yet-Undetermined length of time.

I am heartbroken. I feel desperate to find the place where we belong. Our desires are simple, but this world is complicated.

And so we bake cookies:

Yes, that dough is the color of charcoal. I took a basic sesame tahini shortbread ala Mollie Katzen (the Sesame Stars from Vegetable Heaven), and used black sesame tahini and my new favorite gluten-free flour mix and YUM happened.

Many are in the freezer, waiting for relatives we will see around Christmastime. A few are on reserve to leave out for the gnomes. It was Joy, it was Delicious, and at times it was Serious Business, this cookie-making.

The hardest part was waiting for the cookie sheet to be free for the next round of cutting shapes…

I am working hard to breathe in Hope and breathe out Anxiety so that I might enjoy this holiday season. It is the first in four years that we have not been 3000 miles away from all the grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins, etc. I need to celebrate this, but my mind is consumed with where where where are we going to go next and how are we going to get there…


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